Stop trying to make the Bender Ball happen. “My husband can barely keep his hands off of me!” ….I seriously doubt that, mami.
04
Jan
∞
28
Oct
∞
Stop trying to make Ed Hardy snow boots happen. It’s not going to snow in Florida and I doubt Ed Hardy’s even tackier version of UGGs is going to help you.
02
Oct
∞
Stop trying to make black-tipped manicures happen. It ain’t cute.
25
Sep
∞
Stop trying to make not saying, “thank you” after I hold the bathroom door open for you happen. Giving me that bitchy look after you pop a mint to cover the barf smell isn’t going to happen. EVAR.
23
Sep
∞
New Kids On The Block, stop trying to make yourselves happen. It’s quite frankly disgustingly embarrassing.
22
Sep
∞
Stop trying to make camo baseball hats happen. You know what camo baseball hats are? They are the period at the end of this sentence,
“I give discount handjobs in the back of a truck parked at my sorority house while suckin’ down a lukewarm Natural Ice because daddy didn’t give me the self-respect I deserved as a child.”
21
Sep
∞
Stop trying to make headbands happen. If they haven’t happened by now, they aren’t GOING to happen.
